Another Revelation

It is amazing how much can come up for me in a relatively short period of time. When the fog of illness lifts and the weight of the stagnant air begins to move and flow, I can breathe again and think more clearly. As I was preparing today’s blog and rereading Staying Outside the Lines, I realized that I had another revelation or "baby" epiphany. I would like to share the poem I wrote yesterday:

Another Revelation

I talk about my body

like it is not me

I say

I always treated my body well!

Why isn’t it returning the favor?

I have pointed my finger at others all my life

for letting me down and

not meeting my expectations.

I set standards high for myself 

and others.

It is no wonder 

I was constantly disappointed.

Ah ha.

I am doing it to myself now

or maybe all along.

My body is letting me down

I am my body

I am letting myself down.

Were my expectations realistic

and obtainable?

It was questionable.

And if there is any certainty now,

it is that they are presently unrealistic

and unobtainable.

I am working so hard.

My body is doing the best it can.

How can anyone ask for more?

How can I ask for more?

I see that I need to relax

my grip

on control

and fighting for something I don’t have.

All that energy 

is better spent letting go.

I want to let go.